Percy Annoys People
by NinjaPants999
Summary: Percy finds a book called "Ways to Annoy People". And Percy (being the Seaweed Brain he is) decided that people need to loosen up. Image belongs to burdge-bug.
1. Chapter 1

**Percy Annoys People **

***I do ****not****own any of the Percy Jackson characters. This story is in third person point of view. Hope you like it***

Percy Jackson was bored. He thought that getting the day off training would be fun. Don't get him wrong, he thought that everybody would be enjoying the sun and playing pranks. But since the war started everyone turned serious and they were a real bore. Even the Stoll brothers, they (almost) stopped pulling pranks and stealing stuff.

So Percy collapsed onto his bed and let his head hang off the edge. That's when he noticed a book underneath his bed.

_179 Ways to Annoy Your Friends: Even dumb people could do it!_

'Perfect', Percy thought.

-_line_break_-

**1. Start lightly punching or kicking your friend. See how long it takes for them to yell "KNOCK IT OFF!"**

* * *

Annabeth was sitting by Thalia's Pine reading an enjoyable book to anyone who loves boring stuff, when Percy comes walking up and sits down next to her. "What do you want, Seaweed Brain?"

Percy just smiles lays down on his back next to her and closes his eyes. Even with his eyes closed he could feel Annabeth roll her eyes. Once Annabeth reaches a good point in her book, Percy starts lightly punching her lower leg. She holds up her index finger telling him one minute. Percy stops for a second, and then starts punching her with both of his fists.

"Percy! Can you just give me a minute," she practically yells at him.

He stops, stands up, and starts lightly kicking her legs. Annabeth looks up at him and glares coldly at him. But, he's smart enough to know not to look at her if he wants it to work. Finally, after a minute of kicking her legs, Annabeth stands up, brushes off her pants, than kicks him hard where no person should kick another person. Yep, she kicked him in the shin.

And then, very calmly she says,"Knock it off Perce." With that she walks away to find another place to read.

-LiNe—BrEaK-

**2. Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to you, hold your hand up to prevent them from saying anything and say, "Look, I know what you're going to ask me… For the last time, no, I will NOT go out with you."**

* * *

Percy was lecturing Connor and Travis Stoll on why they should not put spiders in the Athena cabin, because the whole cabin will plot to kill them. Then, out of nowhere, Katie Gardner showed up and turned to Percy.

She opened her mouth to ask him a question, when Percy put his hand up to stop her. "Look, I know what you're going to ask me", he stated.

How he knew that she was going to ask him about what food group tacos are in, surprised her. But, once again she was disappointed that day. "For the last time, no, I will NOT go out with you."

Connor, but mostly Travis, looked at her in surprise and confusion. Katie opened and closed her mouth, unsure what to say.

But, once again the kelp head did it for her.

"It's okay. I'm very flattered, but I have eyes on someone else. Let's hug it out." With that, Percy hugged her, while saying repeatedly, "It's okay to let out the tears. We- more like I- won't judge you."

He stepped away after a few minutes, with her still having no idea what's going on. "You feel better now?" Percy asks with a comforting voice.

Finally she got a hold of her thoughts and slightly stuttered from the shock of it all, "T-That wasn't w-what I was going t-to ask."

Percy got red and rubbed the back of his neck, "Um, well then that was awkward."

He looked at his bare wrist, and said, "Look at the time. I'm late for…" His mind searching for something to be late to. "Archery!" We all looked at him skeptical, because archery is not his thing. Then he seemed to realize that. "Cause' it's never too late to, uh, prefect those shooting skills."

And with that the son of Poseidon went sprinting towards the archery range.

-_guess what?_LINE BREAK_-

**3. When people ask you to do things, mutter under your breath, "That won't be necessary where you are going."**

* * *

Percy was in the arena punching dummies (but injuring his fists more than his hands). Chiron then proceeded to walk over to him to ask him a favor.

"Percy, could you help me out of my wheelchair? My back hooves are stuck."

Percy walked over to Chiron while saying, "Sure."

Under his breath he muttered, "But it won't be necessary where you're goin'."

The rest of the day after that Chiron wondered what he exactly meant by that.

-mini—line—break-

Whilst during lunch, Will Solace (son of Apollo) strode over to Percy's table. "Yello Percy. I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor."

Will sat down and placed his elbows on the table, resting his head on his hands. Percy was… stunned by this sudden intrusion of his privacy of eating. "Depends, is it so important that you had to interrupt my eating?"

Will seemed to think for a second before saying, "I guess it can wait till after lunch. See ya than, Perce!"

With that last dialogue, Will got up and left to go to the Apollo table leaving a bewildered Percy sitting at the Poseidon table. As Percy was getting up from the picnic table Will, true to his word, came up to him.

"You ready for that favor now, Perce?" Percy just nodded in response. "Great!"

_Will has too much enthusiasm,_ Percy thought. "So here's the favor. I need you to sharpen all of my arrows, because I don't have enough time to do it." "Fine, I'll do it." Percy than muttered under his breath, "That won't be necessary where you're going, though."

He then stalked off to go sharpen some arrows, leaving behind a **very** confused son of Apollo.

-I LOVE TACOS!-

So what do you thinks peoples. Review!


	2. Chapter 2

**4. Talk super fast in a conversation. When your friends ask you to repeat yourself say 'no'.**

* * *

It was a usual meeting of people at Camp Half-Blood. Everyone had just gotten to camp for the summer. Percy, Annabeth, Nico, Grover, and Thalia had all gathered by the beach to talk about the school year.

"I had a _lot _of homework, so much that I barely had time to do anything else", stated Annabeth.

Next around the semi-circle of people was Grover. "I wouldn't want to be a worm. 'Cause than the early bird would get me."

Everyone just stared at him until Percy decided to speak up, "Thatisbrilliant." Everyone just stared at Percy.

"Whyiseveryonestaringatme?"

Nico decided to speak up, "Why are you talking so fast?"

"Idon'tknowwhatyourtalkingabout!" Percy stated while crossing his arms.

"Maybe if just nod to everything he says, than he'll stop." Annabeth whispered to everyone, except Percy. Thalia, Nico, and Grover all nodded.

"Whydoyouguyswhisper. Itmakesmefeelleftout!"

"Whyareyouguysnodding? Ohhhh! Igetit! You'renoddingbecauseyouthinkthat I'llstop!" Everyone just kept nodding, but meanwhile Percy was getting a mischievous look in his eyes.

"ThaliacanIpunchyouinthearm?" Everyone just nodded.

"Youwon'tgetmadatme?" Everyone continued nodding, that is until Percy punched Thalia in the arm.

"What the What was that for, Kelp Face", Thalia practically yelled. There was tiny sparks coming off of her as she stood up and walked towards Percy. Who was currently backing away with a look as if a promise had been broken.

"Yousaidthatyouwouldn'tgetmadatme", Percy pleaded as Thalia pushed him to the ground.

Percy quickly looked at the others with a pleading look in his eyes. But they took action to late, and he was shoot so hard with lightning that he shot all the way down to the cabins.

All in all, I think that Percy didn't get the satisfaction that he thought he would get from that experience.

* * *

**5. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.**

* * *

It was a busy Friday, because everyone was getting ready for the capture-the-flag game. The blue team all gathered around Annabeth on their side of the forest.

"This is our plan, you guys. Every time I count down from ten and get to zero, a different group of five will head out in different directions. Got it?" Everyone nodded.

"Oh, Percy." Percy turned to look at her. "I need you to stay back with me, also the Stolls and Will to stay behind to guard."

The said people stepped back with her. Then the whistle blew that signaled the start of the game.

Annabeth started counting down, "10, 9, 8"

"24", Percy muttered.

Annabeth gave him a confused look but kept counting, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. First group go!" The first group headed out.

"10,9"

"54", Percy said a little louder than last time.

"Um. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Next group. 10."

"36", Percy all but shouted.

That's when Annabeth snapped. "Why are you trying to ruin the game, Perce? Next group go."

"I don't know what you're talking about." And under his breath he said, "It didn't work anyway."

The game continued and of course it ended with Percy being beat up and the blue team winning.

* * *

**_Well that was fun. Review if you have any ideas for ways to annoy people. I also decided that I will actually try to do 179._**

**_P.S. I am not Rick Riordan._**

**_P.S.S. The awkward moment when you realize that Santa's present to you has the same wrapping paper as all your other presents._**

**_-Ninjapants_**


	3. Chapter 3

**6. Stand in a busy place. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.**

* * *

Everyone was gathering in the Amphitheater waiting for campfire to start.

Percy slowly stood up from where he was sitting, gasped and pointed up to the top of the Amphitheater. Slowly people started drawing weapons and looking to where he was pointing.

Then it started a chain reaction: a group would notice someone looking up with their weapons drawn, then they would draw their weapons and look where they are looking.

Soon, everyone was standing up, weapons drawn, and looking up.

Finally, one kid spoke up. "Why are we standing up, with our weapons drawn, looking at nothing?" Everyone started talking, trying to figure out who started it.

While unnoticed, Percy left the campfire and went to his cabin.

* * *

**7. Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages in their book, when they aren't looking.**

* * *

Since Percy didn't have anything better to do, he hung out with the Athena cabin. They, of course, were all reading books in the strawberry fields. Percy, however, was wearing sunglasses and doing something so devious that Hermes would even be proud... he was messing with their books. His plan was the following:  
Step 1- Go up to any random Athena child (make sure that they are reading)  
Step 2- Distract them. Make them look away and bookmark their spot.  
Step 3- Move their bookmark ahead 3-7 pages.  
Step 4- Walk away and leave them to start reading again.  
Step 5- Hide and watch their expression.

So far the plan was working perfectly. For example, he went up to a kid that was reading a book about German architecture.

"What's your name?" Percy said to the kid.

"The name's Pelkie, James Pelkie", he said without looking up.

"That's cool. My name is Jackson" , Que the whipping off glasses and flipping hair. "Percy Jackson."

Of course the kid was so into his book all he did to acknowledge the James Bond impression was a nod.

"I guess I have to try harder."

"Were you talking to me?" James said looking up at him.

'Oops', Percy thought. 'Guess I didn't say that in my head.'

"Nope", he said while popping the 'p' sound.

Again all he did to say that he heard Percy was nod.

'So this is how the game is being played.' Percy thought deviously. He than plopped himself right in front of James.

"Jam-Jam", He said in a sing-song voice. "I bet two drachma that you can't hit that strawberry over there with. With a bow and arrow, of course."

James looked up with distaste. "First of all, yes I accept the bet only if you can find a bow and arrow. Second, hold my book while I shoot. Third, don't call me Jam-Jam."

With that he put a leaf to mark his place, and looked at Percy expectantly. Surprisingly all Percy did was pull an arrow out of his sock and grab a bow that he was sitting on. Then he handed them to James.

As James was aiming, Percy secretly opened the book and moved the leaf 4 pages ahead.

'SWISH' As the arrow went through the air. 'THWACK' As the arrow pierced the strawberry. James turned with a smug look on his face, towards Percy.

'Oh, no! I don't have two drachma!' Percy got worried. All he had, was one. Immediately he came up with a plan.

He put on a calm look, "That wasn't the strawberry I was talking about. But at least you hit one. Here, have one drachma for your troubles." With that Percy put the book and drachma into James' hands, and walked away only to hide behind a bush.

James shrugged and opened his book back to his spot...only to realize that wasn't where he was earlier. He only shrugged it off and turned to the right page.

By the end of the day, all the Athena children had dubbed Percy a new title... 'Book Toucher'!

* * *

**How was your guys CHRISTmas? I got a snowboard! XD  
Please review and give your thoughts. I accept flames. (also compliments.)  
Also if you have any ideas review! or PM me!**

**-Ninjapants**


	4. Chapter 4

**8. Repeat the conversation multiple times: "Do you hear that?" "Hear what?" "Never mind it stopped."**

* * *

All the cabin counselors were gathered in the big house for the END OF THE MONTH meeting. (Hermes- Travis and Connor; Athena- Annabeth; Poseidon- Percy; Ares- Clarisse; Apollo- Will; Hephaestus- Jake; Dionysus- Pollux; Demeter- Katie Gardner; Hades- Nico; Aphrodite- Drew)

Chiron started, "Attention everyone! We will start with complaints, remember to raise your hand."

"I wasn't aware that this was school", Travis pouted.

"Do you have something to say Travis?" Travis just shook his head 'no' in response.

"Good. Let's start." As soon as Chiron stopped talking, Percy's hand shoot up. Everyone was taken aback by this, because Percy never complained.

"Uh... Go ahead, Percy." Everyone was thinking the same thing: What could be so bad that Percy would complain about it.

"This has annoyed me since the beginning of the meeting." Que sharp intake of breath.

"Do you hear that sound?"

"What sound, Percy?" Annabeth asked.

Percy replied, "Never mind, it's gone now."

"Okay then. Let's carry on. Who's next?" Katie rose her hand. "Go ahead Katie."

"Can you tell the Stolls to stop putting soap in my watering can."

The Stolls suddenly put on an innocent expression, "But we would never do anything like that Katie. 'Cause we put the soap in everybody's watering cans!"

Chiron didn't even look up from what he was doing, "Stolls you have one week of dish washing duty, and you have to clean all the watering cans."

Katie got a smug look on her face, and Travis stuck his tongue out Katie. Percy than, once again, rose his hand.

"What this time, Percy?" Chiron asked.

"Now do you hear that?" Percy whispered.

Everyone was silent for a moment. Then Pollux broke it by saying, "What are we supposed to hear?"

"Never mind, it's gone now." As soon as Percy finished that sentence Annabeth rose her hand.

"Yes, Annabeth?"

"Well, Chiron." Everyone groaned because this is how she usually starts her rants.

"Whoa there people! I am very offended. All I was going to say was that this complaint is directed to Drew." When she heard her name Drew sat up straight and looked over at Annabeth.

"What is it, hon?" Drew asked.

"You might as well bring out the mirror that's in your lap, that you are using to check your make-up. Because seriously, no one looks down at their crotch, flips their hair, and then smiles."

Everyone looked at Drew and Annabeth shocked, until Drew reached into her lap and put on the table a tiny hand mirror.

Chiron was the first to speak up, "If that is all the complaints than we will move onto work stuff." No one objected.

"Pollux and Katie: How are the strawberry's coming along?"

"There was a tiny setback because of the water can incident" ,Katie started.

"But they're growing strong and fast, now" ,Pollux finished.

Chiron nodded, "Clarisse, Annabeth, and Will how is border patrol coming along?"

"Everything is happening according to plan" ,Annabeth stated with Clarisse and Will nodding along.

"No monsters have tried to make a pass over the border" ,Clarisse said.

"Ok. Percy, how is the ocean border?"

"No big scary monsters have come by." Percy thought for a moment than shoot up out of his chair. "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what, Percy?" Everyone said exasperated.

"Never mind. It's gone now."

All anyone did in response was sigh majorly.

* * *

**9. Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!"**

Percy and Annabeth were sitting on the dock, with their feet in the water, talking. Or more like Annabeth was talking and Percy was listening.

"But seriously, just because he's new doesn't mean he should get special treatment! I mean he is fourteen for crying out loud! And don't get me started on Malcolm. He has been the most annoying sibling of, like, all time. And it just started randomly!"

"Ohh la la! Maybe it's just his time of month" , Percy suggested. Annabeth just gave him a roll of her eyes.

"Ohh la la! Just excuse my naïvety. Oh la la! I was born at an early age." That, once again, earned a famous roll of the eyes.

"Why, dear Seaweed Brain, do you keep doing these annoying things?" Annabeth finally inquired.

Percy thought for a moment, "Oh la la. Let's get back to your problems. Oh la la. I might even give you some advice, we all know that I'm not using it."

Annabeth just stared at him before replying, "I think I get it. You're saying 'Oh la la' at the beginning of every sentence, trying to annoy me."

Before Percy could respond, she stood up and put her shoes on while saying, "When ever you feel like being normal again. Come and talk to me." With that she left him all by his lonesome on the dock.

"Oh la la. She is feisty" ,Percy said to no one in particular. "And I like that."

* * *

**10. Make appointments for the 31 of September.**

As Percy was walking down to the beach, he ran into none other than some Ares folk. From the look on their faces as they surrounded them, they wanted to hurt him. Majorly.

"Uhh...Listen, you guys. I'm kinda busy now. So, can we make a rain check for the 31st?"

The big oafs all looked to the one that was supposedly the leader. He just nodded and sent me a glare as he left.

When he finally made it to the beach, Katie and some others came up to him.

"Hey there, Perce. You ready?"

At this comment/question Percy put on a confused face, "What am I ready for?"

Katie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, "You said that you would play volleyball with us."

"Oh. Um... can we reschedule the game for the 31st?"

"Sure, but don't expect us to reschedule again."

"K" ,Percy replied.

* * *

**I hath decree that I will now do 3 annoying things for each post. I will also try to post once each week. The first one is an idea given to me in a review by XxThisMyFriendIsAPenxX.**

**Thank you everyone for the reviews! And for favoriting!**

**Check out my bio/profile! And if you have any questions about anything (my story, my profile, life) PM me or in a review ask the question.**

**I have an idea for a new story...but I can't figure out if I want Percy to end up with Annabeth, Artemis, Thalia, or Athena. Please review and tell me what you think. The first person to get 10 votes is who I will match Percy up with.**

**Before you go... REVIEW!**

**-Ninjapants (who wears shorts now)**


	5. Chapter 5

**11. Determine how many cups of coffee is to many.**

* * *

It started at breakfast, when instead of getting one cup, Percy got 20 and brought them to his table. Annabeth walked over to his table, crossed her arms, and stared him down until he said, "My magic powers tells me that a person is behind me. No, I change my mind... an angry person. Nope, I'm wrong again. An angry Annabeth. Yup, that sounds right."

He twisted around in his chair and looked up at Annabeth, "How 'bout them jolly whiskers! It's Annabeth! How are you, sweet Wise Girl?" Moment of silence. "You know that if looks could kill, you would me a mass killing machine."

Finally she spoke, "Why, the Hades, do you have so many cups? You can't drink that much blue coke!"

Percy shook his head disbelievingly, "To answer your question I must address your statement: This is not blue coke." He turned back around and continued drinking out of his cup.

"Then what's in it", Annabeth asked.

"Simple answer: coffee. Complicated answer: the answer to the quizzical question is the beans that grow sweetly in the plantation. That then get processed and grounded. After that intriguing process, it turns into what I am now drinking. Coffee."

Annabeth got a blank look on her face, "Why are you drinking coffee? Don't you hate it?"

Percy turned around to face Annabeth, "The question is, why aren't you drinking coffee? Do you hate it? You can tell me truthally, cause coffee don't judge."

Annabeth rolled her eyes, "Can you just tell me why?"

"Simple answer: Determining how many is to many. Complicated answer: Determining how many cups of the sweet joe, makes someone go crazy awesome."

Annabeth walked away while thinking, 'This isn't going to end good.'

By lunch time, Percy could barely sit still. He kept asking everyone for coffee. Finally, he settled down at his table. That is, until Annabeth walked over with a cup of coffee.

"Hey, Seaweed Brain. Do you want this cup of coffee?"

Percy looked at her suspiciously, "Depends. Is it free trade?"

"No", she replied plainly.

Percy got a happy look and took the coffee from her, "Good. It's the work of the workers that makes it taste good." With that, he took a huge swig from it.

When everyone was heading to their cabins to get ready for bed, Percy came bouncing up to Annabeth, "H-hey Annie-Ann-Annabeth! How did your whisker licking day go? Mine was awesome, thanks for asking. SO, I finally figured out that I haven't crashed from the coffee yet. Well, good night Wise Girl."

He then sprinted over to his cabin, leaving behind a very confused daughter of Athena.

In the morning, Percy lay collapsed on the Poseidon table. Annabeth walked over to him chuckling, "Did you figure it out, Percy?"

"UUHHH" ,Percy groaned. "396 cups of coffee will make you crash hard. Don't try it! It doesn't work out in the end, trust me."

Annabeth just shook her head and walked away.

* * *

**12. Repeat everything someone says as a question.**

On this day, Percy was wearing a shirt that said 'BAD SPELLERS UNTIE!" **(A/N I really felt like having him wear this shirt!)  
**Back to the topic on hand, Percy was hanging out at the beach with Grover.

"I am so serious, Perce. Juniper has to be the hottest tree ever!"

Percy thought for a moment, "Is she the hottest tree ever?"

Grover stared at him, "That's what I just said."

"Is it what you just said?"

"Yes!"

"Yes?"

"YES!"

"YES?"

"Stop it, Percy!

"I should stop it?"

"YES!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Don't even think about doing it", Grover said in a warning tone.

Percy got a mischievous smile, " Don't even think of doing what?"

"PERCY", Grover bleated. "That's it I'm leaving."

"You're leaving?"

"Yes", Grover said while standing up.

"Yes?" Percy stood up as well.

"I'm going to talk to Juniper." Grover started walking away.

"Wait, Grover", Percy called. Grover turned around. "You're going to talk to Juniper", Percy asked.

Grover just turned around and walked away.

* * *

**13. Quote Batman when answering questions.**

Percy was talking with Grover and Annabeth.

"So, Percy, what do you think about what Grover asked", Annabeth asked.

"Death does not wait for you to be ready! Death is not considerate, or fair! And make no mistake: here, you face Death."

Annabeth and Grover shared a look. "Ya know, Percy. That didn't answer the question of if tacos or fries are better."

"Correct! However, knowing that, he'd think that we'd think he would not return there, therefore he did and so will we", Percy stated.

Annabeth shook her head, "This isn't that surprising. This is like the new norm for you, Seaweed Brain."

"I take that as a challenge", Percy said in a dramatic voice.

"Please don't", Grover pleaded.

"TO LATE. To the Batmobile." With that Percy ran off to his cabin.

* * *

**Sorry I haven't updated! My parents limited my computer time!**  
**I LOVE exclamation points! And other stuff! Yes, jolly whiskers is my quote! I say it when something is surprising."**  
**I still need ten votes for who will be the person Percy gets paired with! Right now Annabeth is in the lead!**  
**I have written some other stories! Read and Review those too!**  
**I'm thinking of writing a story about how Percy and the gang go to Wal-Mart and do crazy stuff! Tell me what you think!**

**-Ninjapants!**

**P.S. (!Jolly!Whiskers!) You got to love 'em.**


	6. Chapter 6

**14. Learn Morse code and only talk to people in it. (A/N look at bottom of page for what is said.)**

* * *

It was a day at Camp Half-Blood, where everyone was just relaxing. Jake was in the forge working when none other than Percy waltzes in.

"Hey, Perce. Do you need something?"

"Beeep Bip/ Beeep Beeep Beeep."

Jake wiped sweat of his forehead using the back of his hand, "Uh, I don't know how to respond to that. But, I guess that I just did. Never mind."

Percy just looked up at him and says, "Beeep Beeep Beeep/ Beeep Bip Beeep."

"Sometimes I think he got hit in the head to many times", Jake said to himself as Percy left.

Travis and Connor were walking calmly away from the prank they just set up, when Percy came up to them.

"Bip Bip Bip Bip/ Bip Beeep/ Bip Bip Bip Beeep/ Bip - Beeep Bip Beeep Beeep/ Beeep Beeep Beeep/ Bip Bip Beeep - Bip Bip Bip/ Bip/ Bip/ Beeep Bip - Bip Beeep/ Beeep Bip/ Beeep Bip/ Bip Beeep/ Beeep Bip Bip Bip/ Bip/ Beeep/ Bip Bip Bip Bip? Beeep bip/ Bip/ Bip Bip Bip Beeep/ Bip/ Bip Beeep Bip - Beeep Beeep/ Bip Bip/ Beeep Bip/ Beeep Bip Bip. Bip Bip - Bip Bip Bip/ Bip/ Bip - Bip Bip Bip Bip/ Bip/ Bip Beeep Bip."

Connor had a blank face once Percy finished, and Travis had on a similar face. But, Percy just skipped happily to where Annabeth was sitting.

"Bip Bip Bip/ Bip/ Beeep Bip Beeep Beeep - Bip Beeep/ Beeep Bip/ Beeep Bip/ Bip Beeep/ Beeep Bip Bip Bip/ Bip/ Beeep/ Bip Bip Bip Bip! Bip Beeep Beeep/ Bip Bip Bip Bip/ Bip Beeep/ Beeep ' Bip Bip Bip - Bip Bip Beeep/ Bip Beeep Beeep Bip?"

Annabeth glanced up at him and then back to her book, "What are you doing?"

Percy rocked on his feet, "Beeep Beeep/ Beeep Beeep Beeep/ Bip Beeep Bip/ Bip Bip Bip/ Bip - Beeep Bip Beeep Bip/ Beeep Beeep Beeep/ Beeep Bip Bip/ Bip."

"Just keep talking that'll make it so I can understand you" , Annabeth said sarcastically.

Percy thought for a moment, "Beeep Beeep Beeep/ Beeep Bip Beeep. Bip Bip Bip/ Bip Bip/ Beeep Bip/ Beeep Bip Beeep Bip/ Bip - Beeep Bip Beeep Beeep/ Beeep Beeep Beeep/ Bip Bip Beeep - Beeep Bip Beeep Bip/ Bip Beeep/ Beeep Bip ' Beeep - Bip Bip Beeep/ Beeep Bip/ Beeep Bip Bip/ Bip/ Bip Beeep Bip/ Bip Bip Bip/ Beeep/ Bip Beeep/ Beeep Bip/ Beeep Bip Bip - Beeep Beeep/ Bip , Bip Bip ' Bip Beeep Bip Bip/ Bip Beeep Bip Bip - Beeep Beeep Bip/ Beeep Beeep Beeep - Bip Beeep/ Bip Bip Bip Bip/ Bip/ Bip Beeep/ Beeep Bip - Bip Beeep/ Beeep Bip/ Beeep Bip Bip - Beeep Bip Beeep Bip/ Beeep Beeep Beeep/ Beeep Bip/ Bip Bip Beeep Bip/ Bip/ Bip Bip Bip/ Bip Bip Bip."

Annabeth looked up to stare at Percy, "Two things: One I can understand you, and two, what are you going to confess?"

Percy looked at her in horror, "Beeep Bip Beeep Beeep/ Beeep Beeep Beeep/ Bip Bip Beeep - Beeep Bip Beeep Bip/ Bip Beeep/ Beeep Bip - Bip Bip Beeep/ Beeep Bip/ Beeep Bip Bip/ Bip/ Bip Beeep Bip/ Bip Bip Bip/ Beeep/ Bip Beeep/ Beeep Bip/ Beeep Bip Bip - Beeep Beeep/ Bip?!"

Annabeth just blinked and went back to reading, "Of course I know Morse Code. Daughter of Athena here!"

Percy went wide eyed, turned around running back to his cabin screaming over his shoulder to Annabeth, "Beeep Beeep Beeep/ Bip Bip Bip Bip - Bip Bip Bip Bip/ Bip Beeep/ Beeep Bip Bip/ Bip/ Bip Bip Bip - Beeep Bip/ Beeep Beeep Beeep! Bip Bip/ Beeep ' Bip Bip Bip - Bip Beeep Bip/ Bip Bip Beeep/ Bip Bip/ Beeep Bip/ Bip/ Beeep Bip Bip!"

Annabeth rolled her eyes at his actions and muttered under breath, "Seaweed Brain."

* * *

**15. Run through the place with your arms outstretched, making airplane noises. Periodically crash into pedestrians and lose a wing. Spiral to a crash and repeat.**

* * *

The first thing everyone noticed was what Percy was doing, not that people stare at him or anything like that...  
So, back to the story. Percy was running around with his arms outstretched, pretending that he was an airplane.

"BRRRR" ,he spluttered out as he was running. Suddenly, one of his arms hit Travis in the face.

"Owww, man! What was that for", Travis complained.

"Ya, why did you have to hit my less attractive sibling", Connor joined in.

Percy just started spinning and lowering himself to the ground, "Mayday! Mayday! I've been hit! Going down! I don't have enough time to pull the ejection! It's been nice knowing you world!" Then Percy collapsed on the ground, and everybody barely looked at him as they walked by. But that didn't stop him. He just popped back up again shouting, "Don't worry guys, I have multiple lives and planes!" Again, barely anyone payed attention to him.

* * *

**16. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.**

* * *

Malcom was sitting on a bench reading when he felt a presence on dextral (fancy word for right) side. He looked over his shoulder and saw Percy standing there.

"Do you need something, Percy?"

Percy shook his head, "Nope, just keep reading."

Malcom turned around and did just that. But, stopped when he heard Percy mumbling into his ear, "A big scarlet Rolls-Royce had just stopped in front of the local Post Office."

Malcom whipped around, "What are you doing Percy?!"

Percy put on an innocent face, "Nothing, Malcom."

Malcom scrunched up his eyes and turned back around to read. When in his ear he once again heard Percy's voice, "A girl jumped out, a girl-"

Malcom shot up to his feet and turned around to face Percy, "Can you stop doing that, Percy? It's annoying."

Percy crossed his arms, "Fine. I'll stop." Turning and walking away he said over his shoulder, "By the way, Jacqueline and Simon did it."

Malcom stood still for a moment, then through his book on the ground and stomped away.

* * *

**Morse code translations (P=Percy in order of said)**

**P:'No.'**

**P:'OK.'**

**P:'Have you seen Annabeth? Never mind. I see her.'**

**P:'Hey Annabeth! What's up?'**

**P: 'Morse code.'**

**P: 'OK. Since you can't understand me, I'll go ahead and confess.'**

**P: 'You can understand me?!'**

**P: 'Oh Hades no! It's ruined!'**

* * *

**Man! The Morse code one took forever! Thank goodness it's done.**

**One more vote and Annabeth wins! Once I get 42 reviews, then I'll write the story of fun things at Wal-Mart starring the Percy Jackson Gang!**

**Thanks for all the reviews and follows and favorites! You guys are so awesome!**

**By the way, in the last one the book is _Death on the Nile_ by Agatha Christie.**

**-Ninjapants**


	7. Chapter 7

**16. Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation.**

* * *

Annabeth and Percy were sitting on the floor of the arena after they fought.

"You're getting better, Seaweed brain. You might have actually bruised me," Annabeth commented.

Percy furrowed his eyebrows ,"What does 'getting' mine?"

Annabeth stared at him before saying, "Getting means to receive or come to have possession, use, or enjoyment of."

Percy quickly responded, "What does 'use' mean?"

"Since, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic, I'll answer. Use means to employ for some purpose; put into service; make use of."

Percy slowly nodded his head, then snapped straight up.

"What?" Annabeth asked, suddenly suspicious.

"What does 'put' mean?" Percy looked at her.

Annabeth looked back. "..."

"..."

"..."

It turned into a staring contest, and they both knew that Annabeth was winning. Finally, after a few minutes, Percy threw his hands up in defeat. "Fine. Don't tell me what 'put' means." He crossed his arms stubbornly.

Annabeth just rolled her eyes and stood up, "I'm going to shower. You should too." And with that final sentence, she left Percy sitting all by his lonesome.

* * *

**17. Say random facts at the worst moments.**

* * *

Percy was sparring Clarisse in the arena. Their swords were pressing against each other, trying to see who will break first. When Percy sputtered out, "Dolphins sleep with one eye open."

Clarisse just shook her head and kept pressing down with her sword onto Percy's. "Nice try, Prissy. But it's going to take more than that to make me stop."

Percy just concentrated harder at the thought of a challenge, " Soldiers from every country salute with their right hand."

Clarisse kept pressing, "That's not surprising."

Sweat beaded both of their foreheads, "Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers were all invented by women." Percy pushed harder.

"Again, not surprising."

"How 'bout this one: Armadillos can be housebroken."

Clarisse let a tiny bit of shock show on her face, but she kept pressing down. This is not good, Percy thought. I'm going to lose if I don't come up with a good one.

Suddenly, Percy was struck with brilliance. He took a deep breath, "About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it."

At that, Clarisse broke and let up on the pressure she was pushing down with. Percy took that chance to quickly swing his sword around, and disarm her. She landed on her behind with her sword across the arena.

"In England, in the 1880's, "Pants" was considered a dirty word. Also, I win," Percy stated then walked away, leaving Clarisse siting on the floor wondering what happened.

* * *

**18. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two.**

* * *

There were a lot of new kids at camp, and lots of them needed directions getting around. One, by the name of Joshua, came up to Percy.

"Excuse me, sir", he asked.

Percy looked down at him, "You need something, kid?"

The kid looked looked down embarressed, "Well, I kinda lost my way. I forgot my position in connection to the sun, so I can't find my future destination."

Percy looked at him blankly, "You must be an Athena kid. Can you explain it in small words."

Joshua nodded, "I'm lost, and I need to get to the Athena cabin."

"There was that so hard? Anyways, you need to go straight down that path, take the third path on the left then the second on the right. Keep walking until you reach a gray cabin. Then if you see smart people inside, that means you reached your destination."

Josh said his thanks and took off, while Percy started rubbing his chin, "Or was it second path on the left and third on the right? Oh, well. He's an Athenian, he'll find his way."

He waltzed off whistling, while Josh was wondering why he reached a pink cabin.

* * *

**Sorry I haven't updated. I just got to the last one and froze for a couple days. I'll try to update quicker. Try reading my new stories.**

**If I didn't say already, Annabeth won. (Part Poopers!)**

**Take my poll on my profile to!**

**Peace and all that stuff,**

**-Ninjapants**


	8. Chapter 8

**19. Talk like there's another person with you.**

* * *

"I know, Jim. I'll tell them," Percy said to himself.

He looked up, "Jim would like it if you stop staring at us. He finds it uncomfortable."

Everyone just looked at him and then looked to the chair beside Percy, then back to Percy. Travis spoke up, "You know, Percy. There's no one there."

Percy got a hurt and shocked look on his face, "How dare you say that! Jim may be a regular mortal, but he still has feelings like us. Me and Jim-"

Suddenly he stopped and shook his head, "Okay, I get it Jim. I'm terrible at grammar, okay? Jim and I." He gave a pointed look to the empty chair next to him, "Are going to leave now."

He got up and walked away, shoving the air next to him. Percy stopped and got a worried look on his face. He quickly knelt down, "I'm sorry, Jim! I didn't mean to push you so hard."

Percy stood up and held out his hand, he then made a pulling up motion like he was helping someone to their feet. Unexpectedly, he fell down to the ground next to where 'Jim' supposedly was.

"It's not my fault you're so heavy. You need to lay off the french fries for a while."

He stood up again and walked off to his cabin talking or nodding his head along the way. Everyone just stared after him, confused about what happened.

* * *

**20. When walking down a main path, act drunk.**

* * *

It was the night of the celebration party. You make ask what were they celebrating, well, the camp was celebrating because they finally beat the Hunters of Artemis in Capture the Flag. Everyone was back in their cabins, except for Percy and Annabeth. Annabeth was supporting Percy in walking, because apparently he was drunk on sugar. When they reached Annabeth's cabin, Percy said, "You can go ahead and go to your cabin. I can walk the rest of the way."

Annabeth looked at him suspiciously, "Are you certain about that, Seaweed Brain."

Percy nodded, and Annabeth let go of him. Percy took a few steps, and collasped face first onto the ground, "Uh, Annabeth?"

Annabeth was already heading over to him, "Yes, Percy."

"I think I might need some help."

Annabeth rolled her eyes and brought him to his feet, "You're lucky I didn't already go into my cabin."

Percy just ignored her and pointed to a tree by the path, "Wow, Annabeth! Look at that huge brocilli! I would eat it, but I don't like vegies."

Annabeth, once again, rolled her eyes, "That's a tree, Perce."

Percy looked over at her, "Why do you keep giving me new names? Do you like me or something? 'Cause I like you, that's for sure." He said the last sentence more to himself than to her.

She blushed a light shade of red and kept walking.

"We should go to the ocean," Percy stated.

"And why should we?"

"Because I have to and bring Nemo home to his dad."

Annabeth rolled her eyes, "Percy, Nemo is fake. An animation."

Percy's eyes got wide, and he collapsed onto his knees, "I've been lied to. The man with the white beard and a weird cloak, told me to find Nemo! I can't believe I was that gullible!"

Annabeth looked down at him and crossed her arms, "You really just need to go to your cabin."

Percy looked up at her with puppy dog eyes, "Will you carry me?"

Annabeth sighed and reached down, and just as Percy was lifting his arms... Annabeth turned around and walked to her cabin.

"Well, that was disappointing," Percy said to himself. He heaved himself up and walked to his cabin, to go to sleep for the night.

* * *

**21. Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend's house who has a piano. Claim you've never played before, then play Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring perfectly the first time. Then say, "I guess I must kinda be a natural."**

* * *

Percy put his plan into action immediately. He had Will teach him Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring on piano until he was a master at it. Then he suggested that they have a music night, where anyone that wants to can come onto the stage and do some sort of musical genius stuff. Percy also payed the Hermes and Demeter cabin to start chanting his name, when they ask if anyone should play.

Then it was time for the final act to happen. It was twenty minutes in, and so far nobody had gone up except for Apollo kids.

Chiron stepped onto the stage after someone finished their song on violin, "Does anyone else want to go?"

Percy signaled for the Demeter and Hermes cabin to start chanting, "Percy, Percy!"

Slowly, more cabins joined in on the chanting, "PERCY, PERCY!"

Chiron pounded his hoof on the stage, "Silence. Percy would you like to come up?"

Percy said, "Sure."

He walked up and sat down on the piano bench, "Just so you guys know, I've never touched a piano in my life. So, let's see how this works."

Everyone sat in awe as he played, and at the end they were all on their feet clapping. Percy walked down back to his seat, no body noticed that he dropped bags of drachmas in Travis, Katie, and Will's lap. Annabeth walked up to him, "Where'd you learn to do that, Seaweed Brain?"

Percy shrugged and grinned, "I guess I must be a natural."

* * *

**Once I get 72 reviews I will do the Wal-Mart story. And if I get 81 reviews I'll do a karaoke night at Camp Half-Blood.**

**Don't forget to review!**

**Peace and all that junk. XD**

**-Ninjapants**


	9. Chapter 9

**21. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names.**

* * *

It was once again time for the monthly camp meeting, and all the cabin counselors were gathered around the ping-pong table. (Hermes- Travis and Connor; Athena- Annabeth; Poseidon- Percy; Ares- Clarisse; Apollo- Will; Hephaestus- Jake; Dionysus- Pollux; Demeter- Katie Gardner; Hades- Nico; Aphrodite- Drew)

Chiron sat down in his wheel chair, "Let's start, you guys know the drill."

Percy stood up, "Mr. Horse-man, Mischievous 1 and 2 to put soap in the fountain in my cabin. By the way, Mischievous 1 and 2, what is with you guys and soap?"

Percy sat down, and Chiron spook up, "First of all, Percy don't call me Horse-man."

Percy broke in, "How about Horsey or Pony guy or possibly Horsey Horseman Horse?"

Chiron went on like Percy didn't even say anything, "Second, Travis and Connor stop putting soap in stuff."

Travis stood up, "Does that mean that we can do other stuff as long as it has nothing to do with soap?"

"No. I don't want anyone harming you boys."

Connor stood up, "So you do care about us, Chiron."

"Once again, no. I just don't want to do the paper work."

Connor and Travis sat down to everyone laughing. Percy stood up again, "We should give War Girl some chill pills during Capture the Flag."

Clarisse stood up angrily, "You could use some freaking chill pills!" Except she didn't say freaking.

"This what I'm talking about, you freak out and you could use some chill pills," Percy said just as angry.

Will stood up, "Enough you guys!"

Percy and Clarisse both turned toward Will and yelled, "Mind your own business, Archer guy!"

Nico stood up also and started to leave, "You guys are driving me nuts!"

Percy turned to Nico, "You can't just leave during a meeting, Death Boy!"

"Your idiotic yelling is making my hair deflate," Drew said.

"That doesn't even make any sense, Make Up!"

Annabeth finally stood up and gave everyone a cold glare. "All of you need to sit down." She said it in a scary calm voice, and everyone sat down.

Percy looked up sheepishly, "Sorry, Wise Girl."

Chiron still sat looking shocked, "Uh, anything else?"

Katie quietly stood up, "I would like to know what my nickname is?"

Everyone looked confused until Percy spook up, "I think it should be Gardner."

* * *

**22."Forget" the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."**

* * *

Dionysus was relaxing on the porch of the Big House with a can of Diet Coke in his hand, when Percy comes bounding up onto the porch.

"Do you want to hear a joke?" Percy asked.

Dionysus looked at him lazily, "If I say yes, will you leave me alone after?"

Percy nodded his head vigorously. Dionysus let out a sigh, "Fine, tell me this joke."

Percy took a deep breath, "A lorry driver is driving 200 penguins to London Zoo when his lorry breaks down on the motorway. The driver gets out of the cab and is looking at the engine when a second lorry driver stops in front of him and asks if he needs help. The penguins' driver explains that he is taking the penguins to the zoo and asks if the other man would  
take the penguins there. He agrees.  
Some hours later, the 2nd lorry driver drives past the first one, who is still waiting on the motorway. The penguins are still on the lorry, and look happy.  
"I thought I asked you to take those penguins to the zoo," shouted the first driver.  
And you know what the other driver said?"

Dionysus shook his head, "No."

Percy looked down, "I don't know either. BUT, it was a real hoot!"

Dionysus got up and walked away.

* * *

**23. Reply to everything with a 'Your Mama' joke.**

* * *

Percy, Grover, and Annabeth were sitting in a clearing talking.

"How has school been for you, Percy?" Grover asked.

"Your mama so old that her Birth Certificate says Expired on it."

Grover got a hurt look on his face, "That is uncalled for, Perce!"

Percy replied, "Your mama is uncalled for."

Annbeth spook up, "Anyways, how was school."

"Well, your mama so dumb tha she tried to put M&M's in order!"

Annbeth and Grover sucked in a breath, and then there was a flash of light.

Athena came out of the light, "Perseus Jackson! This has gone on far enough!"

Annabeth and Grover looked over to where Percy was sitting but he wasn't there. They heard a splash of water that signified that Percy jumped into the ocean.

* * *

**Sorry that I haven't updated in so long!**

**Read and Review Please!**

**-Ninjapants**


	10. Chapter 10

**24. Show up late, when they ask you why you're late say that your pet rock had a seizure.**

* * *

The cabin counselors were all gathered around the ping-pong table for their monthly meeting. Everyone was quietly (or not so quietly in some cases *cough* Annabeth *cough*) talking to each other. Dionysus (who randomly choose to come to this meeting) stood up and banged his empty cup of soda on the table, "Let's start this meeting, you brats. Then I can get back to playing- I mean winning- pinochle."

As he was about to start talking, Travis shoot up, "Wait, Mr. D. I feel a disturbance in the force. Someone is missing."

Everyone gasped and looked around trying to figure out who was gone. "Now that you mention it, something seems off. Like the annoying level has gone down," Annabeth mentioned.

They were still trying to figure it out when Percy came rushing in, "Sorry I'm late you guys."

Everyone (except Mr. D) had a little 'A-ha' moment, then started questioning him why he was late.

"Even I don't forget what time this meeting is, Perce," Connor stated.

Percy waved his hands around, "Calm down, you guys! I'll explain why I was late. It's very sad just to let you know. M-My pet rock...he had a seizure!"

He collapsed and started sobbing into his arms. Whilst everyone just looked around uncomfortably. Finally Mr. D spoke up, "Percy...that is one of the most..." He looked as if he was about to cry. Until he burst out laughing, "That is the funniest thing ever!" He fell onto the floor still laughing.

* * *

**25. Hide in a closet, and when someone opens it say, "Young one, welcome to Narnia."**

* * *

Drew went to her walk-in closet in the Aphrodite cabin. When she opened the door and stepped in she heard a voice from the shoe section, "Ahh. Welcome young one. Welcome...to Narnia!"

Drew slowly walked over to her shoes as the voice was saying, "Just step to the back of the closet...no...no...don't come over here! Stop walking over here!"

Drew pushed her shoes aside to see Percy sitting on the floor. His face was turning red as he grinned sheepishly up at her. She slowly gritted her teeth , "Get out of her Jackson. Before I go all daughter-of-Aphrodite on you!"

Percy stood up and raced out of the closet shouting over his shoulder, "Enjoy your stay at Narnia. Don't let the evil witch get you!"

Drew bent down and picked up a high heel, then chucked it at the retreating from of Perseus Jackson.

* * *

**26. Call everyone a communist.**

* * *

Everyone was hanging out, chillin', or whatever you want to call it. When Percy (of course, I'm getting so obvious) came rushing in and disturbed the peace by shouting, "Communist!" And pointing at random people. He ran around the room pointing at people and shouting communist. When Clarissa tackled him to the ground.

Having the wind knocked him, he slowly pointed at her and croaked out, "Communist."

She stood up and winked at him, "And don't you forget that, Kelpy."

* * *

**Check out all my other stories...blah...blah...blah...**

**reviews would be nice also**

**-Ninjapants**


	11. Chapter 11

**27. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.**

* * *

Percy was sitting on the dock when Grover came and sat down next to him. "How ya doin' ,Percy?"

"Fine..."

Grover waited patiently for Percy to finish, but he never did. "Was there something else you were going to say?"

Percy shook his head, "No..."

Once again Grover waited, "Are you sure there's nothing else?"

Percy turned his head and looked at Grover with a perplexed look on his face, "Ya..."

Before Grover could say anything else, Annabeth walked over and stood behind them, "What up, dorks."

Percy looked up to her, "Nothin'..."

Annabeth stared at him until it was obvious that he wasn't going to say anything else. Then she turned and walked away, muttering about crazy water boys.

* * *

**28. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.**

* * *

The murmuring of voices grew louder as everyone tried to talk over each other. Everyone was talking about the now smaller paths, throughout camp. During the night someone placed magical traffic cones, that wouldn't allow people to pass them. All the people in camp were trying to figure out who did it. Then, as though their minds were magically connected, they all looked at Poseidon's table. But, Percy wasn't even there. So, Chiron trotted over to the Poseidon cabin. When he arrived there was a circle of cones surrounding the cabin.

"Perseus Jackson!" Chiron shouted.

Percy stuck his head out the door and smiled to Chiron, "Good morning, Chiron. How may I awesomely help you?"

"You could help me by telling me what these cones are for!"

Percy got a confused look on his face, "I'm afraid that I have no idea what you are talking about. I just woke up this morning and couldn't leave my cabin because someone put the cones around my cabin. And let me tell you, sir. It is not funny!"

Chiron sighed, "I believe you, Percy. But if you have any idea who did it, can you come and tell me?"

Percy nodded his head vigorously, "Of course!"

As Chiron galloped away, Percy closed his door and turned back into his cabin. And grinned mischievously at all the traffic cones stacked in his cabin.

'Now what am I going to do with these,' he thought to himself.

* * *

**I didn't feel like doing three of them this time. Next time I promise I will. I'll also try to update quicker.**

**-Ninjapants**


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